Do you find new blog followers everywhere you go? Are people drawn to your sparkling personality and witty conversation? Are you the life of every party?
Would you like it to stop? If you’d like to make less friends and leave a questionable impression on everyone you meet, then follow these helpful tips.
(Watch on YouTube)
The video and the post are different. Sorry to inform you, you are going to have to both read and watch. 😉
How to be socially awkward at blogging events
1. Find out about the event the day before.
The last thing that you need is more time to be properly prepared so make sure that you find out about the event at the last minute. Having other plans before your event is also great for helping you feel rushed and unprepared.
(When Crazy Meets Exhaustion vlogs and I find out about the Scary Mommy Meet and Greet.)
2. Do not get adequate sleep the night before.
It’s best to be totally exhausted so that you’re really off your game and you have (even more) huge dark circles and bags under your eyes. Personally I like to go to bed at 4:30am and then wake up at 7:00am the next morning.
3. Make a last minute trip to the store.
If you’re going to an event where you have the opportunity to have an author sign something for you and then realize you don’t have a physical book for them to sign you may as well take an hour or so to go buy the book. Make sure that the trip makes you run late so that you barely have time to change your clothes before the event.
4. Bring a tiara.
Carry a tiara in your bag, make sure that it’s visible and that everyone can see it.
Don’t take it out and don’t mention it. Also it helps to carry around a pair of cute but very large shoes that have mud on them from your trip to the park earlier that day.
5. Dress inappropriately.
If everyone else is rocking a cute sundress you should totally shroud yourself in dark clothing, wear flip-flops, and try your best to resemble a 12 year old hippie-ninja wearing pajamas.
Also, be short. Really short.
Me, Christine, Stephanie, Jill, Janene, Meredith, Amanda
6. Make a poor underwear selection.
I’m not just talking about pantylines. Wear something that bunches, creeps, and rides up. Just when someone finds you remotely interesting, slink away and attempt to discreetly pull the underwear from your crack. Repeat 35 times.
7. Be certain the photographer only takes bad photos of you. No, I mean really, really bad photos.
Preferably when you’re in the middle of nervously crossing and uncrossing your legs.
(Source of unedited photo)
8. Sweat like a pig and incessantly fan yourself.
Upper lip sweat is particularly great for making you feel more uncomfortable. Find a program, a postcard, or something similar and fan yourself furiously.
10. Ramble about a different blogger.
When a famous blogger is signing your book start rambling about how much you love a different blogger. “I love Kat. I read her blog all the time. She’s so funny. She’s my best friend, except not really. I am not a stalker.”
11. BONUS! Talk smack on your own blog.
Also, when talking to other bloggers be sure to badmouth your own blog, “My blog is small. No one reads it. I don’t even write on it anymore. Everything is stupid. I hate the world.”
Don’t tell them the name of your blog and don’t give them your business card.
(Source of unedited photo)
Even though I felt like a socially awkward weirdo, all of the other bloggers were great and assured me that I “did just fine” (Code for: It’s awkward enough without talking about how awkward it is. Please change the subject.).
I want to give a special shout-out to Femme Frugality that had the misfortune of witnessing me accidentally rub my iressa booty all over the food table and then crack a lame joke about sitting on a stack of plates. My apologies.
As if I didn’t embarrass myself enough the first time, I’m going to be attending a local blogger Meet and Greet on July 19, 2013. This event is at Ikea, so I’m going to be really busy making friends with lamps, but I’m sure I can make a little time for you if you’d like to experience this train wreck in person.
I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog. Please be gentle with it, wash your
hands before touching it, and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!
Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com